


Roll Call

by BeignetBenny



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Catholic School, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Other, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-17 06:15:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3518504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeignetBenny/pseuds/BeignetBenny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean realizes he doesn't really like girls as much as he thought he does in high school. He also realizes that he isn't really a girl as well and Castiel has the same revelation</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roll Call

Siobhan discovered that they liked girls pretty early on in her life. It wasn’t that much of a self discovery. It was more like, she would look at a nice looking girl and think ‘Nice...’ So being in love with a girl wasn’t to different from what she was used to.

Kristen, on the other hand, had a harder time being okay with it. Statistically, she was the one out of her five other brothers and sisters who would be the gay one, which she was okay with. At least she was most of the time. The nights that Siobhan would visit and they would lay down on her bed pressed close together was definitely one of those times.  Then there were the nights she would argue with her parents about who she is and what she wants to do with her life. Those times are a lot harder.

“Kristen Novak?” Her teacher called out.

“Here,” They responded not bothering to look up from her laptop as she continued working. It was study hall, so most people were still just talking as the teacher continued through the rest of roll.

“Siobhan Winchester?” The teacher called, but didn’t bother to look up for the answer, knowing that she was the one creating most of the ruckus in the class room.

“Yeah?” Siobhan responded, as she usually did, thinking that the teacher was asking her something rather than taking attendance.

As their teacher continued on with the few names on the list that were actually after ‘W’ the laughter began to die down and Siobhan turned so that she was turned towards Kristen.

“How did your fancy Russian test go, lyubov moya?” Siobhan went on to ask, referring to Kristen as that only Russian phrase that she knew, ‘My Love.’

“It went well, actually. The only big problem I have is conjugation. And I’ll be talking while I’m there, not writing, so I should be good, Also,” Kristen turned to Siobhan and smiled. “You said it wrong.”

“Same difference,” Siobhan said smirking.

It was quiet between them for a few minutes and Kristen continued to work but, Siobhan was distracted by the clock. She watched as it ticked on and on waiting until it was long enough into the class so the teacher would pretty much let them do anything. As soon as the big hand struck the nine Siobhan leaned over to Kristen once more, this time placing her hand on her girlfriends thigh.

“Guess who’s eighteen?” Siobhan called in a sing songy voice.

Kristen let out the breath she didn’t even realize she was holding when she felt the cold hand on her skin. “You were eighteen last week, too, and the week before that. I called you on your birthday. January 24th, don’t you remember?”

“Of course I remember, it was my birthday. I’m just saying that we’ve officially hit the don’t know and don’t care mark of Mrs. Harvelle. Ask to go to the bathroom and I’ll ask to go to my locker.”

“I swear, one day you’ll get us both in trouble.” Kristen said as she stood up from her desk and began packing her computer into her bag, knowing they probably wouldn’t make it back for that hour.

Siobhan shrugged, “Yeah, you’re probably right. But I haven’t so far.”

If all the nuns in their school knew what they did in the wheelchair accessible stalls then they would either get kicked out of the school or the teachers would ban together and try to get rid of the oversized stalls altogether.

Kristen knows it’s cheesy to say, but she really feels butterflies whenever her and Siobhan kiss. She was just always so gentle with her no matter how much of a front she puts up as they bad girl. Caressing her cheek, holding her waist, while she lets Kristen take the lead. The only difference from those times to this time was, Siobhan was different, even holding back.

“Chevy,” Kristen said after breaking the kiss, using the cheesy nickname that she knows Siobhan loves to hate. “What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?” Siobhan breathed in deeply and ran a hand through her long hair. “I’m fine.”

“You’re really not, I’ve known you forever and I can tell when you’re not really feeling like yourself.”

“Well, maybe I’m not feeling fine,” Siobhan said as she began to button up her uniform shirt. “Maybe I realized I really like cars and the booze that my dad let’s me get my hands on and skin mags with girls with huge tits in them.” She grabbed her own in emphasis, which earned a confused and nervous laugh from Kristen.

“I don’t really think I know what you’re trying to get at.”

“Maybe I’m trying to cover up everything because I really don’t feel like myself, I’ve never felt like myself with this on.” Siobhan motioned to her skirt. “And I have to wear it every day of my life and I absolutely hate it.”

Kristen felt her heart skip a beat, “So what you’re saying is-”

Siobhan didn’t give her the chance to finish. “Maybe I’m not a girl.” They didn’t give Kris a chance to respond to that either. “I’m going to go back to class. You can just stay here all day with that look on your face if you want.” And with that she left the stall and walked out of the bathroom they didn’t even feel they should be using.

 ****  


“Do you want to sit outside?” Kris asked Siobhan when they saw each other in the lunch line.

“It’s forty degrees outside and I don’t have a coat. The seats out their still have snow on them.”

“We live in Michigan, forty degrees is amazing considering the negatives we had last week. And, I just really want to talk to you. Alone.”

Siobhan stopped in their path causing Kristen to bump into them. “I just remembered that Marie and Lisa wanted me to sit with them today.”

“I don’t exactly feel like a girl either,” Kris admitted. “I really don’t, but I just thought I was crazy for thinking like that and ignored it. I looked it up, there is something for what we’ve both been feeling. It’s called gender dysphoria.”

“You’re right, we do need to talk alone,” Siobhan pulled on Kristen’s wrist out of the cafeteria and into the chilly Michigan air. “First, you do realize you could have outed both of us to whoever could hear, right?”

“It was the only way I could get you to listen, Chev.” Kris said kicking at the snow. “And It wasn’t a lie, by the way. You were probably going to ask that next. I wouldn’t joke like that. So, he and him, right?”

Chevy nodded, a small smile forming on his face. “Yeah? Don’t tell anybody here that though.”

“Of course,” Kris smiled as well, happy to finally have that off his chest.

“Dean…” Chev said as they looked up at the sky together for the last few minutes. Sitting down on the only dry spots of the pavement in front of their school.

“What?”

“I was just thinking that I wanted my name to be Dean,” He looked to Kris. “I mean, my grandmother’s name was Deanna, I was supposed to be named after her but then they changed their mind and wanted something more unique. So now my father’s name is John, my brother’s name is Sam, my mother is Mary, and then I’m just Siobhan. So, why not have a common name for once. That people can actually pronounce.”

“Dean,” Kris said, trying out the name for himself. “It sounds nice. I was thinking about my own name as well. Promise not to laugh?”

“Saying ‘promise not to laugh’ is a sure fire way to get me to laugh, you realize that, right? But I’ll try not to.”

“Castiel.” He said. “It’s the name of an angel. It will probably soften the blow when I come out if I choose that name. And I really like it, there’s a lot of stories attached to that name for me-” The bell interrupted his thoughts, signalling that lunch had ended and that they should be heading to class. “And It looks likes I won’t have the chance to tell you.”

“It’s okay,” Dean said as he stood up from the ground. “You can tell me eventually.We got a few more months before we graduate after all. Do you have a nickname? Castiel is kind of a mouthful.”

Castiel shrugged. “I don’t know, I didn’t think that far ahead.”

“How about Cas?” He suggested.

Castiel thought over it. “Cas… Cas sounds nice.”

Their next hour they had a sub, so of course they would do roll once more. Names would be butchered, judgements will be made just by how they respond to their name being called, and since substitutes don’t know who they are, they can get away with their names.

“Kristen Novak?” She called and then looked around the room to match the name with the face.

“Castiel Novak,” He corrected, receiving an odd look from everyone but Dean, who just smiled at him. “I just think it fits me better.”

The teacher nodded and continued on with the list, of course until he got to the Winchester. “Now,” she began, “I’m sorry if I mess up this name. See… See-o…”

“Dean,” he said. “Just stick with Dean. It’s easier.”

  
****

It had been four years since they saw each other face to face. Four years of transitioning, grainy video calls across continents. Cas slipping into Russian while they are talking on the phone and beginning to pick up the slightest accent. Dean going on to work at his uncle’s scrap yard in South Dakota and growing burlier. Haircuts, surgeries, being kicked out of their family only to be brought back in again with open arms after months of living alone. And they couldn’t do any of it together.

After those four long years, Cas got offered a job in America as a linguist, and even though he had all those friends in Russia, he wanted to go back to Dean. The closer the day arrived to actually flying back home, the giddier he became. Both he and Dean had changed so much, what if they don’t recognize each other? Skype could only pick up so much such as haircuts and flatter chests. He couldn’t see the freckles that were once covered with makeup or those amazing green eyes. And Dean couldn’t see the scruff that took years to actually look right and Cas’ own blue eyes that he would always comment on.

The plane ride took forever and Cas just wanted to be at home again, even though it had been years since he even considered anywhere in America his home, and he still doesn’t. It’s Dean who he considers his home.

He was standing in the lobby, waiting for his bag as he took out his phone, about to dial Dean too see if he was here before he felt arms wrap around him from behind, catching him off guard.

“Guess who.” The voice of who grabbed him said.

Castiel began to smile, recognizing the voice instantly. “You sound different over the phone.”

Dean pulled back still smiling. “Neither do you, Jesus Christ,” He went to grab one of Cas’ bags when it went in front of them. “How?”

“Voice training, mostly.” He grabbed his other bag then picked up his carry on from the floor. He smiled up at Dean, “It’s good to be home.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is is Castiel's POV most of the time. Which is why they change pronouns for Dean half way through and then they change again. If you noticed, he even started to refer to himself as Kris more than Kristen for a short while as well.


End file.
